AND THE ACADEMY AWARD GOES TO...

you know i was sitting around thinkingn today (not that i do that too often but, to be honest, i do...) and contemplating teh awards show, which always seem to make me depressed, and i realized: THEY SHOULD HAVE AWARDS SHOWS FOR OTHER THINGS THEN ACTING! like best kiss in a office situation goes to...and fun awards likek that. or most dramatic mental breakdown this year goes to...how fun would that be to have real people's lives and moments in AN AWARDS SHOW?! i mean, it'd be realistici because can we all reallyr elate to actresses? i understand that they try very hard to be relatable but honestly some of them are just too high-up-there. angelina jolie, for exp. she adopts 8 kids every second, am i supposed to idolize that? plus she takes jennifer aniston's husband during filming and "seduces" him then forces him to divorce her and make a family with ANGIE. god i hate her. sorry my contempt was not supposed to show through but i suppose my natural writing tone does that to me
anyhow, the point is these awards shows just make us sad for what we don't get: an award for everytime we do something good. well here's to say to all of you:
for all the good deeds that went unnoticed thank you! someone out there lolves you ... even if you're in your time of need know that your life WILL get better. i promise: for all you teenagers who are experiencing ANGST, for all you living the mid-life crisis, for all you stuck in a rut, for all you elderlies who don't know where to go adn just wanna kick the bucket, or for all you fifty-somethings who don't see a point to life, know that there is. it just takes time to see it. ;)

i hope i inspired someone somewhere...thanks. and know that, if no one else, i love you. well sorry to get all christiian and spiritual on you.
good night. :) watch the oscars!

life is good

before i tell my inspiring story about how i went from depressed to IMpressive...ly happy i want to make one shout out: TO THE MAKERS OF DENNY'S COMMERCIALS! what the hell is wrong with your brains? what are you smoking, more importantly? whatever it is, plz get me some. it must be great if you can make a commercial like the nanapuss one. if anyone's seen it leave comments! that nanapuss commercial is hella-weird and hella-funny, in a weird sort of "Why am i laffin at this creepy banana thing floating around with strings?" way.

alright enuff with nanapuss. today i found out teh real key to happiness: FORGETTING ABOUT YOUR TROUBLES! as hard as it seems, soemtimes i like being depressed. not in the actual "wow, being depressed is fun" kind of way. but more in the "oh, i have nothing else better to do and i look kind of detached and cool when i'm sad" way. anyways, today we were doing some sort of exercise in math and it all of a sudden came to me: THE BELL RANG! i hadn't looked at the clock once during math because i was actually entertained...wow, i know. and it was with schoolwork too! but i hadnt once thought about my ongoing depression and sadness. i'd just been normal :] and english made it all the more better. history was the best. i all together forgot my troubles and had fun. lunch was eh-so-so. no actually lunch was great because i had a heart to heart with myh best friend in the whole wide world (there are many others actualy BUT..) and we had 2 keep kicking other people out of our room but it was great. we understand each other! :) and our black mama loves us ;]. (shoutout to you-know-who)

anyways, that was good. then the cherrhy on top was the end of the day. i loved it. so thanks everyone for making this day great!
<3

AHH. life.

so ive made a new decision: to always strive to be happy. look, i'm sick of moping around. being "depressed" actually makes you mor depressed and makes everything around you look all depressing too. i've made half-hearted attempts to do this but, honestly, it hasn't really been good. im going to start tomorrow by being the happy person i know i can be! look, i've been thru this stage once before and it lasted a week and then wore off once i got into being happy again :).

anyways, i love my friends, especially one in particular who always makes me feel loved. i love you forever and ever and i don't know what i'd do without you. you know who you are. god, supportive people are the people to keep around. people who make you feel like crap should NOT be kept around. i mean, if you tell them they treat you badly and they stop then you're fine. i hate it when people like: "oh, your friends do that? oh, they're bad. just ditch them right now." im like: THEY'RE MY FRIENDS. i'm sure your friends screw up too. i don't just ditch them everytime they make one wrong move. so...this whole thing started about depression but i feel like (another expression i hate but here goes): live each day to the fullest bcuz it might be your last.

one i prefer much more:
laugh the loudest, love the hardest, live the fullest.

fuck

fuck my life sometimes. ive joined the club. i didnt think i wnated to.
but maybe i should talk about it...eventually.
one of those days
definition: the days where nothing specific goes wrong but everything goes wrong in your head, where you feel like crap but you don't know why, when you start to cry (rhyme was not intentional) in the middle of a musical practice, and when your friends all seem so distant, even though you know they really aren't. ... or maybe that's just me.

look- i'm completely messed up inside. i admit it.
but the people who don't have the balls to admit it: who live life thinking their perfect. that sux for them that when they turn 40 their whole life will fall to shreds. what i'm wondering is how to survive... being me. it's so hard sometimes!

for all you analysts out there, i challenge you to not analyze. it acutally helps alot. :)

-- well, perhaps this has given me a beter outlook on life. i don't really hate it :)

TWILIGHT!

so I'm sure the picture gave you a hint (and the title) of what this post is all about. i am two hours and like twenty minutes away from stepping into the theater and WATCHING TWILIGHT! YAHOOTIE! :-) [to quote ttfn and ... the other book, what's the other book called?, oh yeah l8r g8r] those books are beast: i actually read the whole series twice.
btw, i have another question for any of you who stumble across this blog: you know that french phrase that's like tet a tet? how do you spell that? is that how? sorry i dont take french.
yo tomo un clase del espanol. lo me gusta. yay! that's all i feel like saying for now. yo puedo hablar en espanol mas pero no quiero ahora. <----also feel free to criticize that all you spanish speakers: i'm sure i screwed up somewhere...or everywhere!? also btw, i did leave out accents FYI.

so back to TWILIGHT. im so excited. some people told me it was really crappy and really confusing: and im sure it will be confusing. luckiliy ive read the book and know all the scenes and shit like that so i'll be fine. like one of my friend's boyfriend saw it with her and he had no clue what was going on! of course, he's a guy: they never do. HAHA JK. so kidding. :-)
anyways, the first book was sorta my least favorite. urgggh. i know all the die-hard fans wil kill me for that. anyways, GO TEAM EDWARD! hahaha im out. sorry about the whole quitting my blog stuff:
that news is so yesterday. :D

sorry!

look, i know not everyone reads my blog- or in fact as SOMEONE so nicely poined out- probably no one rads my blog, but if anyone DOES care, i think i'm officially retiring it. :-( trust me, im sad about it too but i just feel like im not making an impact on anything. the whole point of writing this blog (and ditching my all-together-fabulous MICROSOFT WORD DIARY) was to share it with others! so maybe im not the most fantasmically interesting person ever but i think i've got my hobbies and coolnesses and, for all ya weird people out there, QUIRKS.
--another sad point in my life? i apparently am not good at finding music. my all-time-fave songs are from TV shows or commercials. okay, not true, but my ATF'S of te moment are from those. they happen to be:
"I don't know if I should stay" Alexz Johnson from Instant Star
"where does it hurt?" ditto
"Darkness round the sun" damhnait doyle from instant star
"colors" by kara willey, made famous from the dell commercial with "i am green today"
"Brand new day" by tim myers made famous by the target commerical
AND MY PERSONAL FAVE:
"bruises" by chairlift from the ipod chromatic commercial!
ALRIGHT! im done. im out. byeeeee.

saturdays!

i used to be so social. sorry, that makes me sound like a reject. i am very social- in fact i usually am all the time. but i just haven't had enough time during the week (like i used to) to be able to hold up my weekend schedule too. i think i need someone else to do my planning for me. I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD LITTLE PLANNER! WHAT HAPPENED?! anyways, should i make my blog more styilized? maybe i'll talk about fashion. fashion, after all, is my tres favorite topic. i think that tres should have an accent above the e. i don't take french so don't expect me to know all this.

i worry too. i worry that i sound too much like a teenager. why is it that looking back almost everyone says they wish they were a kid again but right now all i want to be is more grown up? i suppose that's twisted. i like the age i am, but i would love to sound older. i want to look older- the biggest compliment someone can pay me is when they guess my age and are off by two or three years, guessing higher. one time a guy in greece thought i was three years older then i really was at the time: i simply fell in love with him right then and there.

so is this interesting? do people need pictures? why can't i be a blog of note? and how do you get to be a blog of note? i don't think you can sleep with anyone- i suppose you can sleep with the people who started blogger.com but that would require a world-wide search. i don't have the money (OR THE TIME) to do that. especialy not the time.

well, i will leave you with this outfit. my favorite: i found it on the delia's website. you like?