SEPTEMBER!

oh do i love september. its a time to start anew- the whole year is laid out before you. and by starting anew, i am announcing something very sad, if only to me: the end of this blog. i do sometimes feel like michael, a.k.a. steve carrell, from the office when writing on here...because i address people as if THEY actually care, just as he does with his dunder-mifflin associates. okay so maybe you dont care. i am fully aware you dont care. but maybe a little part inside of me doesnt really care that you dont care. i dont mean that in a "take that!" way, like two little kindergartener's on the playground. i just mean that i want to get my thoughts down on paper- or plastic, or computer, or gigabyte or WHATEVER- and i dont really need people commenting on them. but its nice to be able to read them. to say "i did that." and to look back on it. so its like a diary. "Dear diary." youre not actually addressing anyone. and im not addressing anyone here. i know that. but that was never my intention.

also, this signifies a different stage in my life. it will ALWAYS be that stage, which is nice. unless the internet goes downhill and my blog gets deleted- not so nice. oh well! either way. its still here. i just probably wont be posting. thanks.

--there is no beginning/ there'll be no end- the rest doesnt really apply. THE TROGGS.

keep feeling fascination

so just watched a really good movie: the heathers. although the whole teen-killing issue was a little morbid for me, i overall really enjoyed it;). i just realized i left out a lot of key pronouns: for example "so just watched.." should be, at least, "so I just watched" and i almost left out the i in "i overall really enjoyed it" which is also wrong because it should be: overall, i really enjoyed it. well ive got dinner waiting for me: meatloaf and scalloped potatoes! yummy! leftovers are the best;).

you made me leave my happy home

keep feeling fascination

take on me

<3 favorite song qujotes
haha goodbye my friend you hvae been the one you have been the one for me =)

There's only one thing...

2 do, 3 words, 4 you: I love you. (I love you)

Somehow I think that video and song are the CUTEST VIDEO AND SONG EVER! Of course I do love that kind of thing ;)... (cheesiness and all that!) My life has taken an unexpected turn for the better today, hint the unexpected. I don't really feel like getting into details but it's exciting. That's all I can say on the issue.

I thought I had all this existentialist stuff to talk about but I don't. Oh yes, I remember the topic I considered blogging about: Socrates's "An unexamined life is not worth living."

Socrates- can we agree to disagree? (I know I'm talking to a dead guy- but, whatever, I'm cool with that.) An unexamined life is worth living for. It's actually very true. When you examine your life, you're not actually living it. Although I agree that is not fun to walk around like mindless rats (1984 anyone?) it's still rather annoying to constantly analyze what happens around you. I would know. It's healthy to let loose once in a while and to reach a happy medium between the two. Don't be hyperaware, be aware.

So...once again, sing-along time:

THERE'S ONLY 1 THING 2 DO 3 WORDS 4 YOU: I LOVE YOU. (i LOVE YOU)
THERE'S ONLY 1 WAY 2 SAY THOSE 3 WORDS THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO: I LOVE YOU. (i LOVE YOU)

<3!

WILY...

Today I'd love to say I feel clever, witty, and full of life. In that case- I'd be lying: I feel the exact opposite :). Tonight is Being Erica and normally I'd be psyched about watching that...except that I'm not. I just finalized all my plans and I'm kinda pissed about that- ahh urgh. This is basically a list of all my problems. Having fun?

A-ha! I know you are!

We're talking away
I don't know what
I'm to say I'll say it anyway
Today's another day to find you
Shying away
I'll be coming for your love, OK?

Take on me, take me on
I'll be gone
In a day or two

So needless to say
I'm odds and ends
But that's me stumbling away
Slowly learning that life is OK.
Say after me
It's no better to be safe than sorry

Take on me, take me on
I'll be gone
In a day or two

Oh the things that you say
Is it life or
Just a play my worries away
You're all the things I've got to
remember
You're shying away
I'll be coming for you anyway

Take on me, take me on
I'll be gone
In a day or two


as will i... as will i...

Things I love!

AH-la-la: if anyone has actually READ my blog before, pretty much everyone knows i'm negative. not in the sense that if i was going on a plane i would automatically assume i was going to crash. i guess that's paranoid, but you get the idea. in general i think i'm pretty optimistic. but today it was rainy and gross and cold and my shorts were falling down and i was just like: WTF? I HATE LIFE! but it wasnt really life it was just like ."i hate the rain" oh i <3 this "i hate it" "i hate my shorts" "i hate my shirt" "i hate my [insert name]" so i wanted to make a list of things i love. because there are lots of them. so here they are:

things I love:
-the best years (my favoritest TV show ever)
-being erica (my 2nd favoritest TV show ever: actualy they're equal)
-my friends (all of them!)
-RUSTY! (get me some coca-cola)
-heart to hearts
-diet coke (i really miss it...)
-EASTER
-presents (sorry but its true!)
-shopping
-buying (haha, its different then shopping actually!)
-writing (OMG! THIS IS MY ADDICTION!)
-reading (1984 by george orwell right now, thanks for asking!)
-my church
etc.
everything i love would be too much to list!
-oh and MY FAVORITEST FRIEND EVER YOU KINOLW WHO YOU ARE YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME YOU CHEER ME UP ON A RAINY DAY ;) YOU MAKE MY LIFE AMAZING. AND ILOVE IT WHEN YOU SING ALWAYS! ily ;) but dont eat my babies..please..

xoxo E
ps: does eating eggs make you a baby-killer?

APRIL SHOWERS

apparently they bring may flowers.

who ever really knows anymore? hoy es el trece del abril, that's for sure. im feeling sort of obligated to do something (that is 20 minutes on the exercise bike plus some ab exercises) but all i really want to do is have my dinner, watch GREEK (and bits of gossip girl), watch ROOMMATES (i've never watched it before and it looks good) or ONE TREE HILL, then watch SOPHIE (i've watched one episode: stupid but worth it!). i didn't really even want to post o n my blog either but i felt like i had to as well. it's been so long but, if this is possible, i haven't really had anything to say. maybe if i felt like someone actually CARED about my posts, i would care as well. but, in the meantime, here is some consolation.

when i was like 5, i made this blog on blogspot.com. it was all the rage in pre-K, didn't you hear? haha, all i remember is everyone had freewebs.com and once again i was left alone on blogger. but i thought it was the shiznitch. It has to do with animals. Shit! I forgot the link. Oh well.

I'll find it later. For now, I'm out. Off to do my abs-olutely amazing abcersises. (Way to play on the word ABS alot!)

xxx, E

also, a fun pun to leave you with: (this is not homophobic in any way) what do they say at the GLAAD awards? "i'm so GLAAD to be here." ahaha laugh its stupid but so stupid its funny. as all my jokes usually are. ah- self-deprecation starts at a young age.

Don't let me go

Dear friend,
I know you want someone to confide in and you think I'm that person but I'm not. You say I'm a terrible listener and perhaps you're right: perhaps I am all those things (i.e. selfish, rude, whiny) and if I bother you so much wy try? I can't always keep running back to you at your beck and call and you're right: I can't walk on eggshells either. If you feel left out I can't always include you. If you feel left out DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT YOURSELF! Come on. We're friends, yes. But am I absolutely devoted to you? No. I have a life. If you feel like you don't get one. But I can't live vicariously through you. And I also can't give up mine to make you feel like you have one. so please-- we don't have to be best friends, i don't even really want that. I just want to be on good terms. Find someone else to spout youru problems too. That person is not me.

xxx E
ps: abusive friendships:

MY TYPE: -always gets mad at me -never forgives me -makes me grovel for her respect
WHY TEH FUCK DO I PUT UP WTIH IT? who knows?

if you're in an abusive friendship (just as reputable as abusive relationships, and entirely as relevant) leave comments!

Exhaustion: legit disease or just an excuse?

LINDSAY LOHAN- SUFFERING FROM EXHAUSTION. MISCHA BARTON HOSPITALIZED: FOR EXHAUSTION. Another young starlet, another hospital visit, and it all amounts to what they claim to be: "exhaustion."
All of us have at one point said the words and we've definitely felt it, probably more times then one. "I'm exhausted." You say it all the time, but does it really count as an illness? Does it warrant seeking medical care? And can doctors treat it? Now your questions have been answered.

Although most of us are exhausted simply because of our hectic work schedules, endless social calendar, or even our stressful responsibilities towards family members, SOME PEOPLE actually suffer from a disease whose first symptom is exhaustion. It is not wrong to seek a doctor when you are feeling overly exhausted after even just mild activity. But what if you're burning the candle at both ends and YOU KNOW IT and still ask the doctor if there's anything wrong?

It's fine. Sometimes exhaustion is a sign that you need rest. Exhaustion may just be simple exhaustion AT FIRST but not acting on it can lead to something much worse: a breakdown of sorts. So, just as a dry throat may not be bad at first but can lead to strep, exhaustion can lead to a myriad of other things. Perhaps not a legit disease, but definitely more than an excuse.

xxx E

lo siento

although there are a couple of people i really should be saying that to right now, for some reason im focusing on my blog. its easy to say "sorry" to a collective group of people (who don't actually exist, because, in all honesty, i bet no one besides ME and some of my friends read my blog) than a specific person. ANYHOW, im hungry. BUT THE MAIN POINT OF THIS IS: (im having trouble getting tot he point in a lot of my posts) sorry for putting up all those quiz blogthings stuff. but it was fun for me ;)

xxx E

Quiz Galore!

^That should work, leading you to a Gossip Girl quiz where you will discover what character you are: I'm Serena van der Woodsen. But the ones from the-n are so much better. The site just hates me right now :(

You Make a Great First Impression

You can handle almost any social situation with grace, even the tricky ones. Strangers often find you charming and interesting. You are often remembered fondly. Even if you're not naturally outgoing, you can make conversation with anyone if you need to. Whether you were born this way or had to work to get here, you are definitely charismatic. You're popular and well liked. People definitely look forward to being around you. Your social connections bring you a full and rich life. You understand how important it is to make a lasting impression.

What Kind of First Impression Do You Make?

^and this is my blogthings quiz. im working on it

You Are Sunny and Inspiring

When You Are Comfortable: You are quite quirky, and you enjoy doing things your own way. You are optimistic, and you've always got a good idea brewing. People find you to be positive and uplifting. You make people feel good about themselves. When You Are At Your Best: You are a hard worker. You need security and stability in your life, even if that means putting in long hours. People see you as solid and dependable. You are always able to see the good in situations. Other find this comforting. When You Are in a Social Setting: You are a determined and responsible. You strive for success, and you know what it takes to get things done. People find you to be trustworthy and a good leader. You treat people well, and they benefit from your wisdom.

What Do Your Initials Say About You?

Your Pirate Name Is: Evil Busty Bertha

Yarrgh!

What's Your Pirate Name?

Your 80s Hunk is Jason Bateman

Back in the 80s, you would be a typical cute girl next door. So it's no surprise your guy is the ideal guy next door. You go for a guy who's sensitive, sweet, and sexy without knowing it. You prefer to be with a guy who focuses his attention on you... not showing off!

Who's Your 80s Hunk?

Your Inner Pop Princess Is Shakira

"Baby I would climb the Andes solely To count the freckles on your body Never could imagine there were only Too many ways to love somebody" You're more a poet than a pop star.

Who's Your Inner Pop Princess?

again, the-n hates me as of now but the quizzes are much better. read below.
And what are you? Go to the-n.com and get quizzes! They're totally cool, totally fun, and some are (GET THIS) totally accurate!

indecisive much

indecisive

adjective
1. characterized by lack of decision and firmness; "an indecisive manager brought the enterprise to a standstill" [ant: decisive]
2. not definitely settling something; "a long and indecisive war" [ant: decisive]
3. not clearly defined; "indecisive boundaries running through mountains"

this aforementioned indecisiveness is a quality i possess in spades. one i am most certainly not proud of, i assure you. but, alas, it is a part of my blood just as my father and mother are. well enough of the 20th century speak- that's for YE OLDE FOLKE out there. (not saying that i was born in the 21st century- that would leave me between the ages of 9 and 1) yummy!

----> the main point of this is to say that i am one to back out on a decision. i feel huge regret at decisions i've made that seem even the least bit wrong- but i'm trying to tell myself: YOU CAN'T PLEASE EVERYONE. something you do is not gonna make everyone happy. i'm so glad i'm not obama. i'd die. i hate doing things that hurt someone- not in the sense that i can't be mean, i most certainly can and i can enjoy it too. (alas, i am not malicious. but i do love the word alas. AND MALICIOUS. <3) my problem is that i always end up feeling bad for whoever is harmed by my decision. and i hate making people mad. but i tend to say things before i think about them. oh well. :(

anywho, THE OFFICIAL POINT TO MY POINTLESS POST IS: sorry to the both of you! you know who you are! i didn't mean to hurt either of you. alrighty then.
goodnighty then.
xoxo E

Oh me oh my it's monday!

The beach. Palm trees. A nice ocean breeze. In most it elicits squeals of joy, especially when accompanied by friends and family. For me? Not so much.Somehow the beach is a topic of stress that rolls around every year- a constant nagging voice saying "that girl has flatter abs than you" or "look at her legs, so toned" which of course is followed by an accusatory look down at my own and a remark saying "better hit the gym." worst of all: the boy factor- if a group of guys walks by you wanna look your hottest, you don't wanna accidedntally flash them everything from behind because your too-loose bikini bottoms fell down. (hey, you just recently went on a diet! it's not your fault! and, by the way, not from personal experience do i know this. not at all.) *sheepish grin*

But this year I have deemed the beach UNSTRESSFUL. okay, that's a lie. I haven't deemed it unstressful, not one bit. but I have decided that I won't be afraid to get out there and SWIM. For the love of swimming, come on! The main point of this story is to have fun. That's what beaches are there for...I know how cliche this sounds but I really gotta speed it up so here goes: Wear sunglasses, don't worry about your hair, and pal around with ur buds, chances are you'll meet a guy by asking him to play a game of beach volleyball or talking to him at the ice cream stand. But you won't meet one in your swim cover up sitting self consciously on a towel away from the world with your iPod in and shoving a book by your face. trust me on that one. so have fun! even fi you don't meet anyone you still got something from it. and i don't mean a sunburn. *hardy har har har- LAUGH!*

xxx E
ps: the reason i had to speed up? CASTLE IS ON. THE SHOW I'VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR. IT'S LIKE GREY'S ANATOMY'S CASUAL COWORKER FLIRTATIONS + LAW & ORDER: CI'S CRIME SCENES? WHAT MORE COULD YOU POSSIBLY ASK FOR? (OH, AND HE'S A WRITER. 'NUFF SAID.)
pps: good night ;-)

ohhhh life :(

remember how i was depressed last week? or the week before. i think it was the week before. yeah, the week before. well this week im more in the gotta-plan mood! before i was in the "sulk and hope something will happen" mood. but now not so much.

get ready for major planning, dilaters, because some recent news has got me interested in someone, perhaps the love of my life. who will be the love of my life. and i dont mind going after it (or him). so go for it! (i know-- you hate that phrase, oh well.) sorry my blog don't make much sense to y'all who are not in the know. (and sorry that sentence was so...ugh!)

my only question is this: what if 'GOING FOR IT' so to speak means RAINING ON SOMEONE ELSE'S PARADE? does doing something good for you (and not intentionally hurting someone's feelings) but hurting someone's feelings make it wrong? cuz there's something i need- something i want so bad - but i don't want to get it at someone else's expense you know. like an internship for example- its like winning that, you want it but you don't want to beat out people who ARE YOUR FRIENDS for it! life is hard that way. competition is hard that way. i was never one who liked competition, unless it was with ppl i hate. acrtally i <3 competition what am i saying?
toodaloo xxx E
ps: my expression for the day is: "im like a turtle." sometimes i feel like i go inside myself to search for who i am. im like a turtle going into my shell that way :D so if youre like a turtle, or just like turtles POST!


pps: anyone heard the song 20 dollar nose bleed by fall out boy ft. brendon urie? LOVE IT!


have you ever wanted to disappear and join a monastery? go out and preach young addicts straight. who will i be when i wkae up next to a stranger on a passenger plane? passenger plane. permanent jet lag please take me back please take me back ohoh im a stray dog sick plz let me in the mat keeps tripping singing vows before we exchagne smoke rings give me a pen call me mr. benzadrine but dont let the doctor in i wanna blow off steam and call me mr. benzadrine but dont let the doctor dont let the doctor in. its like 14 carats with no clarity. when i look at the man who would be king the man who would be king. goes to the desert the same war his dad rehearsed came back with flags on coffins and said we won, oh, we won.permanent jet lag please take me back please take me back OHoohooh im a stray dog sick plz let me in the mat keeps tripping singingn vows before we exchange smoke rings give me a pen call me mr. benzadrine but dont let the doctor in i wanna blow off steam and call me mr. benzadrine but dont let the doctor dont let the doctor in <3 give it a listen! (for cereal) but not part of the song


:D

Animated Movies!

Just as there are literary classics and classic movies (there are even channels devoted to them- TURNER CLASSIC MOVIES, anyone?!), there are animated classics. Here's a list I compiled of all of my lesser-known favorites, for anyone into this kind of stuff. Movie marathons are the best! (Some suggestions: LAND BEFORE TIME MARATHONS! There are like thirteen of those- or Ferngully Marathons (only 2 but still as good)

alright, here it is:
-Pebble and the Penguin
-the Swan Princess
-Ferngully (1+2)
-Secret of Nimh
-Fiefel goes West
-All dogs go to heaven
-The Rescuers
-The Great Mouse Detective
-Oliver and Company (cat version)
-Land Before Time
-Fox and the Hound
-Princess Guinevere and the Jewel riders
-thumbelina
-The Sword in the Stone
^Alrigiht, that's about it for now!
Oh, and for Disney classics:
-Sleeping Beauty
-cinderella
-Snow white and the Seven Dwarfs
-Pinocchio

kkay, im out. have fun watching!

10:18

well, whatever the time is perhaps that is my new title. i've been accustomed to it.
let me take time out of my day to say i don't understand people who beat around teh bush and don't say what they feel, especially when it comes to relationships. (you know what i mean, not friendships, but RELATIONSHIPS)

----i used to find myself, when i was younger, playing the game of cat and mouse because i enjoyed it. but where's the fun in that in the end? you waste so much time playing it that you forget the outcome and then never get what you really wanted: LOVE. sure, flirting is fun, but not when there's nothing else after it. ;).
------nowadays i find myself beginning to play the game and then slipping, saying what i realy feel, actually letting things come out that would betray my feelings to the other person. it's scary but its empowering. sometimes you're wrong. sometimes thjey really don't like you: as much as it seems like they do. so i want to say congrats to all the people who got rejected! (alright, to be honest, i didn't. but it sounds like i did. but i feel for all of you who even slightly got dumped a bit). so sorry for all of you ! :)

you'll fnid love someday.
xxx E
why are my newest posts so christian-meets-love guru like?
you tell me. or complain to me. or whatever. write about your lost relationships.

ps: i just watched a marathon of the hills. i could feel my IQ slipping by the second. :( my brain may just have melted to mush. perhaps i should watch some discovery channel network. that's always good.

11:02

im off to bed before i wake up at 6 the next morning. i hope i have some pleasant dreams and not the scary nigihtmares i've been having recently. i'm going to start keeping a dreambook, those always sounded cool.

anyways, cant write for long but just wanted to check in! check out my must-see movies list! sorry for the longn descriptions but i just can't help myself :).
i don't think i gave too much of the plot away or anything...

good night.

- E

AND THE ACADEMY AWARD GOES TO...

you know i was sitting around thinkingn today (not that i do that too often but, to be honest, i do...) and contemplating teh awards show, which always seem to make me depressed, and i realized: THEY SHOULD HAVE AWARDS SHOWS FOR OTHER THINGS THEN ACTING! like best kiss in a office situation goes to...and fun awards likek that. or most dramatic mental breakdown this year goes to...how fun would that be to have real people's lives and moments in AN AWARDS SHOW?! i mean, it'd be realistici because can we all reallyr elate to actresses? i understand that they try very hard to be relatable but honestly some of them are just too high-up-there. angelina jolie, for exp. she adopts 8 kids every second, am i supposed to idolize that? plus she takes jennifer aniston's husband during filming and "seduces" him then forces him to divorce her and make a family with ANGIE. god i hate her. sorry my contempt was not supposed to show through but i suppose my natural writing tone does that to me
anyhow, the point is these awards shows just make us sad for what we don't get: an award for everytime we do something good. well here's to say to all of you:
for all the good deeds that went unnoticed thank you! someone out there lolves you ... even if you're in your time of need know that your life WILL get better. i promise: for all you teenagers who are experiencing ANGST, for all you living the mid-life crisis, for all you stuck in a rut, for all you elderlies who don't know where to go adn just wanna kick the bucket, or for all you fifty-somethings who don't see a point to life, know that there is. it just takes time to see it. ;)

i hope i inspired someone somewhere...thanks. and know that, if no one else, i love you. well sorry to get all christiian and spiritual on you.
good night. :) watch the oscars!

life is good

before i tell my inspiring story about how i went from depressed to IMpressive...ly happy i want to make one shout out: TO THE MAKERS OF DENNY'S COMMERCIALS! what the hell is wrong with your brains? what are you smoking, more importantly? whatever it is, plz get me some. it must be great if you can make a commercial like the nanapuss one. if anyone's seen it leave comments! that nanapuss commercial is hella-weird and hella-funny, in a weird sort of "Why am i laffin at this creepy banana thing floating around with strings?" way.

alright enuff with nanapuss. today i found out teh real key to happiness: FORGETTING ABOUT YOUR TROUBLES! as hard as it seems, soemtimes i like being depressed. not in the actual "wow, being depressed is fun" kind of way. but more in the "oh, i have nothing else better to do and i look kind of detached and cool when i'm sad" way. anyways, today we were doing some sort of exercise in math and it all of a sudden came to me: THE BELL RANG! i hadn't looked at the clock once during math because i was actually entertained...wow, i know. and it was with schoolwork too! but i hadnt once thought about my ongoing depression and sadness. i'd just been normal :] and english made it all the more better. history was the best. i all together forgot my troubles and had fun. lunch was eh-so-so. no actually lunch was great because i had a heart to heart with myh best friend in the whole wide world (there are many others actualy BUT..) and we had 2 keep kicking other people out of our room but it was great. we understand each other! :) and our black mama loves us ;]. (shoutout to you-know-who)

anyways, that was good. then the cherrhy on top was the end of the day. i loved it. so thanks everyone for making this day great!
<3

AHH. life.

so ive made a new decision: to always strive to be happy. look, i'm sick of moping around. being "depressed" actually makes you mor depressed and makes everything around you look all depressing too. i've made half-hearted attempts to do this but, honestly, it hasn't really been good. im going to start tomorrow by being the happy person i know i can be! look, i've been thru this stage once before and it lasted a week and then wore off once i got into being happy again :).

anyways, i love my friends, especially one in particular who always makes me feel loved. i love you forever and ever and i don't know what i'd do without you. you know who you are. god, supportive people are the people to keep around. people who make you feel like crap should NOT be kept around. i mean, if you tell them they treat you badly and they stop then you're fine. i hate it when people like: "oh, your friends do that? oh, they're bad. just ditch them right now." im like: THEY'RE MY FRIENDS. i'm sure your friends screw up too. i don't just ditch them everytime they make one wrong move. so...this whole thing started about depression but i feel like (another expression i hate but here goes): live each day to the fullest bcuz it might be your last.

one i prefer much more:
laugh the loudest, love the hardest, live the fullest.

fuck

fuck my life sometimes. ive joined the club. i didnt think i wnated to.
but maybe i should talk about it...eventually.
one of those days
definition: the days where nothing specific goes wrong but everything goes wrong in your head, where you feel like crap but you don't know why, when you start to cry (rhyme was not intentional) in the middle of a musical practice, and when your friends all seem so distant, even though you know they really aren't. ... or maybe that's just me.

look- i'm completely messed up inside. i admit it.
but the people who don't have the balls to admit it: who live life thinking their perfect. that sux for them that when they turn 40 their whole life will fall to shreds. what i'm wondering is how to survive... being me. it's so hard sometimes!

for all you analysts out there, i challenge you to not analyze. it acutally helps alot. :)

-- well, perhaps this has given me a beter outlook on life. i don't really hate it :)